


I'm So Paid

by OldWomanJosie



Category: Psych
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2689574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldWomanJosie/pseuds/OldWomanJosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang has a sing-along in the car. Except for Lassiter. Who does not like hip hop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm So Paid

Shawn Spencer, Carlton Lassiter, Juliet O'Hara, and Burton Guster were riding to a police conference together. Lassiter's car was in the shop, O'Hara didn't want to drive and Shawn had only his motorcycle. Therefore, the four of them were piled in Gus' Echo. Through some whining and arm-bending, Shawn was in the driver's seat. Lassiter did, however, manage to gain shotgun to keep an eye on Spencer's driving. Gus and Juliet shared the backseat.

Shawn sighed happily as they pulled onto the interstate. "I love this. All four of us, in this suddenly really tiny car. It's very cozy. Some team bonding time." He looked at Lassiter for agreement, but the detective simply pointed forward. "Eyes on the road, Spencer."

They rode in silence. They'd been riding in silence most of the way. Shawn didn't like silence. But every time he tried to talk, Lassy shut him down. Finally, in exasperation, he flipped on the radio. A local hip hop station was on at the moment, a result of some of his fiddling with the stations earlier. He heard the song that was coming on and hollered, "Ooh! I love this song!" He sang along.

_Rubbin' on that Italian leather,  
Them Konvict jeans on_

He looked sideways at Lassiter. The head detective was looking out of the window and fighting the urge to change the station. Because Head Detective Carlton Lassiter did not listen to hip hop. Shawn looked at him and asked the question.

_Ay yo, Lassy, you ready?_

"Yeah," Carlton replied with a huff of annoyance. Apparently there was going to be no avoiding this one. Shawn rewarded him with a smile and turned it up, singing the chorus.

_I get it in till the sun rise,  
Doin 90 in a 65_

Lassiter leaned over and checked the speedometer. Just in case. But no, he was doing the limit like he was supposed to. Shawn rolled down the windows and everyone's hair went crazy. Lassiter rolled his eyes.

_Windows rolled down screamin'_  
I'm paid, paid, paid, I'm so paid,   
Number one hustler gettin' money,   
Why you wanna count my money,   
I'm a hustler don't need them   
One of y'all see   
I'm so paid 

_I see police on the crooked I  
Doin' a 100 on Interstate ninety-five _

Carlton checked the speedometer again and it was Shawn's turn to roll his eyes.

_My shawty leanin', blastin' that do or die  
Pushin' I-don't-know-these-words-pineapple we certified_

Juliet, the 'shawty' in question, giggled at Shawn's impromptu word replacement and leaned, as per the song lyrics, closer to the open window. Shawn continued loudly.

_Got a system that'll beat and knock your wall off  
Got a pump under my seat, the sawed-off _

Lassiter gave Shawn the evil eye when guns were mentioned and Spencer held up a hand in reassurance, singing the line about the sawed-off. Carlton pushed the psychic's hand back onto the wheel and looked at the driver's seat suspiciously. One never knew. 

Surprisingly, Gus and Juliet jumped in on the next part, Gus taking the first line and Juliet the second.

 

_Gus: Got a bunch of goons hope they never call off  
Juliet: Sniper sittin' on the roof, already saw y'all _

Shawn laughed and from then on they traded off lines. Lassiter rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Several somebodies in this car had had just a little too much caffeine for lunch. But not him. Because Head Detective Carlton Lassiter did not listen to hip hop. 

_Shawn: Ain't too much to put a strain on me  
That's the reason why I had to put the blame on me   
Gus: Rather have them dollar bills rain on me  
Juliet: Than to let them haters come and make a name off me_

All three jumped in on the chorus. They sang it loud and Gus and Juliet even stuck their heads out of the window briefly to yell out "I'm so paid!" To his credit, Lassiter didn't check the speedometer this time. He had a headache.

_That's why_  
I get it in till the sun rise   
Doin' 90 in a 65   
Windows rolled down screamin'   
I'm paid, paid, paid, I'm so paid   
Number one hustler gettin' money   
Why you wanna count my money   
I'm a hustler, don't need them  
One of y'all see   
I'm so paid 

_Juliet: I'm the boss it only takes one call_  
For a driver to hit you up and dump you off and that's all   
Shawn: Guess what?   
Juliet: I won't be takin' that fall   
Homie, I got cake that's what I'm payin' them for   
Gus: Haha   
Ain't that funny   
Gorillas they want war but ain't got money   
Cause I seen them all talk until they start gunnin'   
Juliet: Quicker than Usain Bolt   
The fastest thing runnin'   
Shawn: Yeah   
Spencer, Lassy  
Santa Barbara holdin' down PD   
The Chief makin' sure we gettin' it up front   
Gus: My lil brother Shawn got that vision, baby 

Spencer's sudden improv made Lassiter give him a Look from over the top of his sunglasses and it made Juliet laugh. Again, Shawn, Juliet, and Gus belted out the chorus.

_I get it in till the sun rise  
Doin' 90 in a 65   
Windows rolled down screamin'   
I'm paid, paid, paid, I'm so paid   
Number one hustler gettin' money   
Why you wanna count my money   
I'm a hustler, don't need them  
One of y'all see   
I'm so paid _

Lassiter sat up straighter and took off his glasses. While they sang the chorus, he got ready. This was his time. This was his verse. Because Head Detective Carlton Lassiter did listen to hip hop and he knew this song very well. Shawn started to sing but his voice faltered and died when he heard Lassiter sing the verse of Lil Wayne. The detective could definitely rock.

_Oh oh, big money Lassy  
White wife beater with the sig underneath it   
How do I feel bitch I feel undefeated   
Snap my fingers disappear from the precinct   
Yeah  
I'm ballin', we ball out  
Thoughts of we fall until the ball bounce  
I sent some rookies with guns to y'all house   
Only to find out you live in a doll house   
Damn!  
But I thought you was tough though  
We carry choppers on our necks   
Call it cut throat   
We bury cowards on the set   
That they come from   
We know magic turn   
Weed smoke to gun smoke   
We, ball first when we ride   
You, in a hearse when you ride   
Hey   
I put my shoe down, baby   
and I'm holding down, Young Carlton, baby! _

The other riders were so stunned at the detective's sudden participation that they almost forgot to sing the last chorus. Almost. They remembered when Lassy started and all of them chimed in.

The blue Echo whizzed down the interstate, all the windows down, and four employees of the Santa Barbara Police Department singing Akon at the top of their lungs inside of it.

_That's why_  
I get it in till the sun rise   
Doin' 90 in a 65   
Windows rolled down screamin'   
I'm paid, paid, paid, I'm so paid   
Number one hustler gettin' money   
Why you wanna count my money   
I'm a hustler, don't need them  
One of y'all see   
I'm so paid

The song ended. The windows were rolled back up. Juliet patted her rumpled hair back into place. Lassiter replaced his sunglasses. Gus adjusted his shirt. Shawn just grinned. "That...was...awesome! You guys, I didn't know you knew that song!" He looked at the man riding beside him. "And Lassy! Dude! Where did that come from? That was, like, amazing!"

Lassiter pointed. "Eyes. Road. Now." Shawn looked back at the road, pouting a little.

But his frown turned upside down when Carlton reached for the radio. "Wonder what else is on."

**Author's Note:**

> Song belongs to Akon, I hold no rights to I'm So Paid.


End file.
